The Complete Works of Richard Hardbeckisms
Below is a list of awesome quotes from the Hardbeck himself from Series 5 Episode 1 all the way through where we are currently.
Put on your band t-shirt. Block out the light. Get ready for passion, love, action, and well fucking wit.
I have to say to those who don’t think Rich is Metal anymore or for those throwing the “pussy” word about Rich. Read these quotes. It paints a picture of a really intelligent, stubborn, passionate, kind, and strong individual. Who fought like hell for the person he loved. Just sayin’.
- If Roundview was medieval village I’d strap that witch to a ducking stool.
- She probably got friggin’ gills under her armpits.
- I’m not wasting my time on peroxide sodden Miley Cyrus Cowellistas.
- Yes Kevin, that’s where I go every day.
- Why are we holding hands?
- I’ve been looking for this for ages.
- No I don’t. Okay, you gave me hardly any time to prepare Alo. I haven’t even had breakfast yet.
- And that’s you is it Alo? Yeah the guy who masturbates so much that his hand is now a shriveled wank claw.
- How valiant of you.
- No offense, but you kind of represent everything I despise in the world.
- That’s magnets…we’re people.
- This is. Me. I’m a metal head. I like metal music. Why’d you think I dress like this?
- No it’s not a joke. I’m not a fucking clown dressing up silly to make you laugh. This is me. This is who I am.
- That’s the worst idea since genocide possibly even worse. Why would EVER want to do that?
- No if I went with you I wouldn’t want to go.
- Grace she’s just a mate…not even a mate she’s more of an acquaintance/
- Right, ballet is just for gays and grannies.
- Yeah this girl who’s helping me…I suppose.
- She’s alright. But she let’s people walk all over her and her friends treat her like shit and she didn’t say a word.
- This is more like it, Grace. You shouldn’t let me trash talk you…you shouldn’t let anyone trash talk you especially your mates.
- BE ANGRY!!! NEVER COMPROMISE!!
- With money you’ve given me seems a bit pointless.
- I asked out the Angel of Death and she said no. Again. So you win I look like a prick and now you have something to wank over when your broadband fails so what’s the problem?
- I don’t compromise ever. I’m metal. It’s who I am. If I decide to go out with her the next thing you’ll see is me body poppin’ to Lil’ Wayne down Oceana.
- Listen, Grace. I thought that…uh. I though that…I thought that your dancing was really beautiful.
- Be careful
- Rich: Should you be talking to me
Grace: Mini’s not my friend anymore.
Rich: Are we still friends?
Grace: I was hoping more than that…if that’s cool with you?
Rich: That’s cool.
- Mmm..oh so this is actually happening…is it? Brilliant.
- I don’t like hugs, get off me!
- She didn’t even get the sherry.
- Nick’s suggesting that we’re a bunch of cripples and that he and Mini are similar to a black, violent…LA street gang…obviously.
- Yeah, Happy Birthday you ungrateful cunt.
- Umm…no…I think its retinal.
- Look listen mate, if there was ever a rock solid, iron clad, balls in chance of you getting laid then this is definitely it.
- And yeah I’ve done fucking vol-au-vents, so finish up and get your shit together.
- Go Viking on that shit burn the fucker down.
- Ah-Ha you’re gay for your parents!
- Yes! Of course with Grace.
- So you just did what he said and you didn’t even tell me?
- I really really really need a cigarette.
- No I mean you’re different with them…you’re not you.
- How. Dare. You. I’ve only had seven drinks. And they were teeny tiny little dwarfy drinks.
- I’m alright Grace. Cause I’ve got you to talk to me. It’s what you do. Everyone’s happy when Grace is around. You’re a shape shifter of happiness.
- I don’t know who you are. Are you Grace Violet or Grace Blood? Are you Daddy’s Girl or my girl?
- Hey all the world’s a stage right? So none of this matters…it doesn’t matter at all.
- No I’m sorry about being drunk, but I meant what I said…from what I remember.
- Not fake. I’m just saying you’re always performing you’re an actress not a director. You’re always playing the part of whoever the person you with needs you to be.
- Yes you are. You’re real to me….I was a twat for saying…
- Maybe stories are just stories…or maybe we can make our life a story.
- I feel violated.
- If one note of “All We fucking Need is Love” plays I’m gonna piss all over his organ, Al. I swear.
- What? When everyone thought the world was still flat?
- Slit my wrists now.
- I guess I look the part I suppose. Mr. and Mrs. Mainstream.
- To get on with the service.
- Well, you can just take me to be your boyfriend.
- Look I’m not going to buy clothes I’m never going to wear again.
- Rufus? Naw he’s just imaginative.
- We paid for a room. We all paid. For fuck’s sake there’s no roof, there’s no water, there’s no electricity. How are we going to see? Or wash? Or flush a fucking toilet? Listen to my new Slayer album?
- You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
- Yes, heavenly. If I die tomorrow then I’d go happy.
- Rich: Well, I’ll just come back and do knob jokes to cheer you up.
Grace: I’d like that. Your knob’s always been a bit of a joke.
Rich: It has. But usually it’s ready for a bit of stand up.
- She IS talented.
- Tell her that you’re a mean old cow that probably never gets laid.
- I love you. Did you hear what I said there? I love you, yeah. I fucking love you.
- Love of my life.
- Don’t ever get ill on me again, okay, I mean it. Not ever. I mean it, okay?
- I probably really love you Grace, but your Dad is a total bellend.
- I’d rather hang myself.
- Mom I’m fine. She needs me here. If Blood wants me to stay away I’ll stay away, but I’m not leaving, okay?
- If she’s not on that flight in four hours I’m actually gonna be forced to kill myself. Are we clear Kevin?
- I’ve been thinking and you’re right about everything. Whatever you want for her, wherever you want me to be, I’ll be. Just don’t take her away, alright?
- Don’t worry, I’m here.
- I don’t want any fucking help. No one can help me. Because I have no fucking service and I want to speak to my girlfriend. I’ve gotta find her.
- Okay you have some uses.
- Okay, I don’t understand any of those words.
- Why does nothing work!?
- Don’t grow up Gracey, it’s shit.
- This is…this is horrific.
- Well I’m sorry, I see you’ve managed to fill the emptiness inside though.
- Min I don’t give a fuck, why don’t you wipe yourself down and piss off.
- Are you sure you don’t want to be in the band so Mini can let you look her in the eye while you such her cock.
- So what Alo…you give up pokin’ Yoko Ono and we’ll start the music revolution together. Me and you.
- Maybe her mouth’s too full.
- Oi mate! Can we get some biscuits over her, please.
- Nothing works without her. None of this.
- It fucking hurts. It fucking hurts so much.
- Here you are again.
- Come back.
- I just spoke to her. I speak to her all the time.
- She would have thought that you were her Dad and that was what you were supposed to do.
- She loved me.
- Nick, I don’t care and this…leave me out of it, alright?
- You should have told me.
- Just ring her…ring Poppy…and be like “what the fuck?” and shit.
- Where you going? You just can’t run away from this.